Home
This conversation took place on October 20, 2011 between a female admirer and an embarrassingly aloof male who can't bring himself to admit his appreciation for his companion's courage and candor in conversation. The two of them would go on to continue this conversation for years.
Admirer: You wearing blue tomorrow? You need to #represent
Aloofer: yeah i dont know
might not go to school
so we'll see
u going to dat hc?
Admirer: Oh....
okay I guess and yes! I love high school. And Kao is in the rally, I have to go and support her!
Aloofer: you going with kao?
Admirer: Oh wait you meant homecoming
yes I'm going to hc.
Aloofer: with kao right
Admirer: So excited. I love homecoming! And yeah I'm probably going with Kao. Were getting ready together.
Yeah. Why?
Are you going?
Aloofer: course not
'snot my thing
got a little shindig planned just gonna get WASTED AF BRO
Admirer: Emon tobias went freshman year. And that's all I'm going to day. I saw him reading in the corner.
Don't drink. That's so gross. Not kidding. Teens who drink are stupid or just trying to fit in.
Aloofer: dont you have friends that drink
do you judge them
Admirer: Yeah. I do. And I think that them doing that is stupid. I think they have better things to spend their time on. But if they feel the need to push their liver to the limit just so they can stumble around and throw up on themselves, that's their choice.
Aloofer: wow so judgmental
haha
Admirer: I know jeeeez sorry.
Aloofer: wutever
everyone's an idiot in high school
no point pretending that you aren't
Admirer: #realtalk
You think you're an idiot?
Aloofer: yeah for sure
not gonna be like this my whole life
Admirer: What's going to change about you?
I think you will be so funny with your kids. Maybe when you have kids, your heart will get bigger. Not literally. But i hear about things like that.
I'm excited.
Aloofer: im looking forward to parenthood so much
did you know
elena said if she had kids
she would sell them
that's fucked
Admirer: She's jk. She isn't going to have kids.
I can tell you that right now.
Aloofer: why not?
all dogs go to heaven
all girls grow into women
Admirer: Because the idea of being a mom would make her feel old and gross. And because she resented her mom so much, and associates motherhood and ugliness with her own mother, she probably won't want to have kids. She wants to die young. Because dying young is to be eternally beautiful.
Maybe I'm wrong. Just being a high school idiot. All girls grow into women. But if she has kids, her heart would grow too, and selling them would not seem reasonable anymore.
Aloofer: yeah jesus christ that's udmb
who the fuck is so superficial
that they dont want to be a mom
because they dont want to look ugly
you are fucking bringing life into this world
that isnt ugly
that is the most beautiful part of a woman's life
Admirer: Like every single high school girl is like that...
Aloofer: jesus christ
why are teenagers so dumb
Admirer: And stop. Being. Not. Serious. And. Rude. I know you don't care about motherhood.
Aloofer: die young to look beautiful?
are you serious
i am being dead serious! parenthood is so important
Admirer: In serious. And not all of them are like that. When they get out of high and discover life over, they change. I think. If they didn't, we wouldn't be alive right now.
* isn't over
Aloofer: man that blows my midn
never understood that level of superficiality
those girls are overall too obsessed with how they look
and give no thought to who they are
as people
Admirer: Kind of like you.
And girls.
You and girls.
Aloofer: im not that superficial
Admirer: True. But I don't see you thinking a lot about who other people really are.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Aloofer: no i think about who i am
which is my job
self-evaluation
self-criticism
self-improvement
it's a three-tiered process
Admirer: And what do you think of yourself?
Aloofer: i have problems moving out of my comfort zone
i have problems expressing my emotions
i have problems with makking other people feel alienated/disliked
Admirer: Yeah. Last one.
Aloofer: dont really know what to do
but i know that the problems are ther
Admirer: It's because you think you're better than everyone else. And maybe rightfully so.
Aloofer: no i dont
i dont think that
Admirer: Yes you do.
It's because you are older than everyone. You are an old soul. And old people always find themselves es superior to young ones
Aloofer: well i mean
i dont really like teenagers
but im not superior
everyone else seems to have more fun than me
get more "PUSSSSSAYYYY" than me
certainly those are metrics of superiority
Admirer: I think that when you are in college, in a college that you chose, you will be happy and have more fun because you will ne surrounded by people just like you.
Because teenager fun just isn't fun to an old soul.
Aloofer: people aren't going to be THAT different in college
Admirer: They will be if you go to the right one. Don't go to uc Santa Barbara like me...
Go somehwere that values intellectuals. Go to Columbia or university of Chicago. Or somewhere like that. Maybe then they will be like you.
Aloofer: i dont know maybe
what should i do for the next two years of high school
o sage?
Admirer: Don't you have people you're friends with that you like? That are like you?
Aloofer: you talk about "my people" like they're a different species
and yeah i got friends
but none of them are girls
Admirer: I always felt Jack was like you. And I wish those nice boys from the Gdi, the people you debated in the last round went here. You were like them!
I don't know who your friends are.
And you do have friends who are girls...
Aloofer: niles
kyle wing
two closest friedns
Admirer: I took a train to Santa Cruz last weekend. And in huge letters on a giant hill was the word: "niles"
Anyways, girls are hella annoying. Except for like, 2% of the population. So you aren't exactly missing out.
Aloofer: yeah but
i am missing out
because they are girls
you gotta score chicks
its like a rule
Admirer: Who do you even want to score...
I'm sure they would be into you! Be confident!
Aloofer: nobody
im so confident
Admirer: If you don't want to do it, then why are you even stressing about it.
Aloofer: ITS BIOLOGICAL
Admirer: I feel like you act confident. But I think you just act like that so people won't be mean to you.
Oh I wouldn't understand. I'm one of those people who doesn't like anyone.
IT'S BIOLOGICAL
Aloofer: how do you know all this
Admirer: What do you mean?
Aloofer: all of this stuff about me
you seem to know m e
better than me
Admirer: Why you being sarcastic brooo
Or maybe you aren't. Idk.
Aloofer: well
i dont know what to tell you
i've put my balls on the table
it's up to you
whether you're going to smash them with a hammer
Admirer: Oh gosh. The pressure.
I love hammers.
But.
For the 1% chance you aren't being sarcastic...
I know all this just because. Just because. Just because.
When you live a life as boring as mine, observing the lives of others is pretty much the best thing ever.
Aloofer: right
well i dunno
i dont really have the best life either
Admirer: Why do you say that?
Aloofer: i never get what i want
and im so goddamn entitled to it
for fuck's sake
im part of GENERATION X
Admirer: Oh gosh.
I see I see
What do you want?
Aloofer: fucking everything
love, money, power, a third testicle
Admirer: Luwlzz. Wouldn't a third on just get in the way? God gave you two for a reason.
Oh You, Oh you. I wish your wife would hurry up and bunp into you. She half Asian half white. Super pretty. Super funny. It will catch you off guard. Appreciates you. Almost as smart as you. Wiser than you.
I'm very excited for you.
Aloofer: that's just gonna happen?
fall into my lap
?
we'll see.
Admirer: Yeah. It will. It has to. If it doesn't, then I've been writ about everything all along.
And if I don't have this, I really don't have anything else.
Aloofer: what are you talking about
this is so unimportant
Admirer: You're going to grab her coffee and Starbucks. By accident. Maybe not Starbucks, but probably. And then she's going to be all hey that's mine, and you'll be annoyed.
What is so unimportant?
What is?
Aloofer: i dont know
predicting my future
so dumb
Admirer: Oh.
Aloofer: O
Admirer: Mean.
That was mean.
You didn't have to say that.
I really wish you hadn't.
Aloofer: k sorry
Admirer: It's fine
I'm not surprised. But I really wish you hadn't said that.
Aloofer: ypu
Admirer: Because I am more sensitive than you.
You don't understand.
Aloofer: i mean
i really have no idea what i did
so
toughen up?
it's not a big deal?
Admirer: Don't tell me that something I said was dumb. When I was just trying to be nice to you.
Aloofer: right
well i dont know
just was feeling silly bout the whole things
it's imaginary
not healthy
Admirer: Isn't that what hope is?
Maybe it doesn't happen. But, wouldn't it just be so magical if it did?
Aloofer: yeah it's really unhealthy to just dream about that though
like
if it happens
that's cool
not gonna think about it
for days on end
Admirer: Def wasn't asking you too.
Aloofer: ye i kno
Admirer: Maybe that's your problem.
Aren't you even excited about what's to come?
Aloofer: i guess
but no, not really
Admirer: No you aren't.
That's sad.
People who aren't excited for the future usually kill themselves.
And if you did that, I would be really really sad
Aloofer: not gonna kill myslef
i could never do that
Admirer: Why not?
Aloofer: im just not sad
im not depressed
Admirer: Yay! That's so awesome! I'm happy for you.
Being depressed is not fun at all. It is cold.
Aloofer: are you depressed
Admirer: No I love my life
I have such good friends. And family. And I have really soft hair.
But I was a depressed little brat in middle school. Happy that changed.
Aloofer: why did it change
Admirer: I met a lot of really great people in High school. I became more focused on school. My mom let me meet my aunt and cousin. Kao and me got closer.
Aloofer: yeah
i met a lot of people in high school
but
haha
Admirer: But what?
Aloofer: just not that great
/i never see anyone outside of school
so i dont really know them
Admirer: Meet knew people. I made two knew friends today.
They are awesome. I'm excited to talk to them tomorrow. I'm excited about all of the things that are going to happen.
Get to know people. And don't be so mean. And don't smirk. You have a scary smirk.
Sorrryyy but I have to go. I'm tired. And I was about to go to sleep. But I wanted to chat you because I always find it entertaining. So gooodnight. Have a good life.
Aloofer: yeah goodnight
Admirer: GREAT TALKING WITH YOU AS USUAL
Aloofer: yeah you too
Admirer: Good luck with your girls problems.
Aloofer: yeah
thank you
Admirer: You wearing blue tomorrow? You need to #represent
Aloofer: yeah i dont know
might not go to school
so we'll see
u going to dat hc?
Admirer: Oh....
okay I guess and yes! I love high school. And Kao is in the rally, I have to go and support her!Aloofer: you going with kao?
Admirer: Oh wait you meant homecoming
yes I'm going to hc.
Aloofer: with kao right
Admirer: So excited. I love homecoming! And yeah I'm probably going with Kao. Were getting ready together.
Yeah. Why?
Are you going?
Aloofer: course not
'snot my thing
got a little shindig planned just gonna get WASTED AF BRO
Admirer: Emon tobias went freshman year. And that's all I'm going to day. I saw him reading in the corner.
Don't drink. That's so gross. Not kidding. Teens who drink are stupid or just trying to fit in.
Aloofer: dont you have friends that drink
do you judge them
Admirer: Yeah. I do. And I think that them doing that is stupid. I think they have better things to spend their time on. But if they feel the need to push their liver to the limit just so they can stumble around and throw up on themselves, that's their choice.
Aloofer: wow so judgmental
haha
Admirer: I know jeeeez sorry.
Aloofer: wutever
everyone's an idiot in high school
no point pretending that you aren't
Admirer: #realtalk
You think you're an idiot?
Aloofer: yeah for sure
not gonna be like this my whole life
Admirer: What's going to change about you?
I think you will be so funny with your kids. Maybe when you have kids, your heart will get bigger. Not literally. But i hear about things like that.
I'm excited.
Aloofer: im looking forward to parenthood so much
did you know
elena said if she had kids
she would sell them
that's fucked
Admirer: She's jk. She isn't going to have kids.
I can tell you that right now.
Aloofer: why not?
all dogs go to heaven
all girls grow into women
Admirer: Because the idea of being a mom would make her feel old and gross. And because she resented her mom so much, and associates motherhood and ugliness with her own mother, she probably won't want to have kids. She wants to die young. Because dying young is to be eternally beautiful.
Maybe I'm wrong. Just being a high school idiot. All girls grow into women. But if she has kids, her heart would grow too, and selling them would not seem reasonable anymore.
Aloofer: yeah jesus christ that's udmb
who the fuck is so superficial
that they dont want to be a mom
because they dont want to look ugly
you are fucking bringing life into this world
that isnt ugly
that is the most beautiful part of a woman's life
Admirer: Like every single high school girl is like that...
Aloofer: jesus christ
why are teenagers so dumb
Admirer: And stop. Being. Not. Serious. And. Rude. I know you don't care about motherhood.
Aloofer: die young to look beautiful?
are you serious
i am being dead serious! parenthood is so important
Admirer: In serious. And not all of them are like that. When they get out of high and discover life over, they change. I think. If they didn't, we wouldn't be alive right now.
* isn't over
Aloofer: man that blows my midn
never understood that level of superficiality
those girls are overall too obsessed with how they look
and give no thought to who they are
as people
Admirer: Kind of like you.
And girls.
You and girls.
Aloofer: im not that superficial
Admirer: True. But I don't see you thinking a lot about who other people really are.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Aloofer: no i think about who i am
which is my job
self-evaluation
self-criticism
self-improvement
it's a three-tiered process
Admirer: And what do you think of yourself?
Aloofer: i have problems moving out of my comfort zone
i have problems expressing my emotions
i have problems with makking other people feel alienated/disliked
Admirer: Yeah. Last one.
Aloofer: dont really know what to do
but i know that the problems are ther
Admirer: It's because you think you're better than everyone else. And maybe rightfully so.
Aloofer: no i dont
i dont think that
Admirer: Yes you do.
It's because you are older than everyone. You are an old soul. And old people always find themselves es superior to young ones
Aloofer: well i mean
i dont really like teenagers
but im not superior
everyone else seems to have more fun than me
get more "PUSSSSSAYYYY" than me
certainly those are metrics of superiority
Admirer: I think that when you are in college, in a college that you chose, you will be happy and have more fun because you will ne surrounded by people just like you.
Because teenager fun just isn't fun to an old soul.
Aloofer: people aren't going to be THAT different in college
Admirer: They will be if you go to the right one. Don't go to uc Santa Barbara like me...
Go somehwere that values intellectuals. Go to Columbia or university of Chicago. Or somewhere like that. Maybe then they will be like you.
Aloofer: i dont know maybe
what should i do for the next two years of high school
o sage?
Admirer: Don't you have people you're friends with that you like? That are like you?
Aloofer: you talk about "my people" like they're a different species
and yeah i got friends
but none of them are girls
Admirer: I always felt Jack was like you. And I wish those nice boys from the Gdi, the people you debated in the last round went here. You were like them!
I don't know who your friends are.
And you do have friends who are girls...
Aloofer: niles
kyle wing
two closest friedns
Admirer: I took a train to Santa Cruz last weekend. And in huge letters on a giant hill was the word: "niles"
Anyways, girls are hella annoying. Except for like, 2% of the population. So you aren't exactly missing out.
Aloofer: yeah but
i am missing out
because they are girls
you gotta score chicks
its like a rule
Admirer: Who do you even want to score...
I'm sure they would be into you! Be confident!
Aloofer: nobody
im so confident
Admirer: If you don't want to do it, then why are you even stressing about it.
Aloofer: ITS BIOLOGICAL
Admirer: I feel like you act confident. But I think you just act like that so people won't be mean to you.
Oh I wouldn't understand. I'm one of those people who doesn't like anyone.
IT'S BIOLOGICAL
Aloofer: how do you know all this
Admirer: What do you mean?
Aloofer: all of this stuff about me
you seem to know m e
better than me
Admirer: Why you being sarcastic brooo
Or maybe you aren't. Idk.
Aloofer: well
i dont know what to tell you
i've put my balls on the table
it's up to you
whether you're going to smash them with a hammer
Admirer: Oh gosh. The pressure.
I love hammers.
But.
For the 1% chance you aren't being sarcastic...
I know all this just because. Just because. Just because.
When you live a life as boring as mine, observing the lives of others is pretty much the best thing ever.
Aloofer: right
well i dunno
i dont really have the best life either
Admirer: Why do you say that?
Aloofer: i never get what i want
and im so goddamn entitled to it
for fuck's sake
im part of GENERATION X
Admirer: Oh gosh.
I see I see
What do you want?
Aloofer: fucking everything
love, money, power, a third testicle
Admirer: Luwlzz. Wouldn't a third on just get in the way? God gave you two for a reason.
Oh You, Oh you. I wish your wife would hurry up and bunp into you. She half Asian half white. Super pretty. Super funny. It will catch you off guard. Appreciates you. Almost as smart as you. Wiser than you.
I'm very excited for you.
Aloofer: that's just gonna happen?
fall into my lap
?
we'll see.
Admirer: Yeah. It will. It has to. If it doesn't, then I've been writ about everything all along.
And if I don't have this, I really don't have anything else.
Aloofer: what are you talking about
this is so unimportant
Admirer: You're going to grab her coffee and Starbucks. By accident. Maybe not Starbucks, but probably. And then she's going to be all hey that's mine, and you'll be annoyed.
What is so unimportant?
What is?
Aloofer: i dont know
predicting my future
so dumb
Admirer: Oh.
Aloofer: O
Admirer: Mean.
That was mean.
You didn't have to say that.
I really wish you hadn't.
Aloofer: k sorry
Admirer: It's fine
I'm not surprised. But I really wish you hadn't said that.
Aloofer: ypu
Admirer: Because I am more sensitive than you.
You don't understand.
Aloofer: i mean
i really have no idea what i did
so
toughen up?
it's not a big deal?
Admirer: Don't tell me that something I said was dumb. When I was just trying to be nice to you.
Aloofer: right
well i dont know
just was feeling silly bout the whole things
it's imaginary
not healthy
Admirer: Isn't that what hope is?
Maybe it doesn't happen. But, wouldn't it just be so magical if it did?
Aloofer: yeah it's really unhealthy to just dream about that though
like
if it happens
that's cool
not gonna think about it
for days on end
Admirer: Def wasn't asking you too.
Aloofer: ye i kno
Admirer: Maybe that's your problem.
Aren't you even excited about what's to come?
Aloofer: i guess
but no, not really
Admirer: No you aren't.
That's sad.
People who aren't excited for the future usually kill themselves.
And if you did that, I would be really really sad
Aloofer: not gonna kill myslef
i could never do that
Admirer: Why not?
Aloofer: im just not sad
im not depressed
Admirer: Yay! That's so awesome! I'm happy for you.
Being depressed is not fun at all. It is cold.
Aloofer: are you depressed
Admirer: No I love my life
I have such good friends. And family. And I have really soft hair. But I was a depressed little brat in middle school. Happy that changed.
Aloofer: why did it change
Admirer: I met a lot of really great people in High school. I became more focused on school. My mom let me meet my aunt and cousin. Kao and me got closer.
Aloofer: yeah
i met a lot of people in high school
but
haha
Admirer: But what?
Aloofer: just not that great
/i never see anyone outside of school
so i dont really know them
Admirer: Meet knew people. I made two knew friends today.
They are awesome. I'm excited to talk to them tomorrow. I'm excited about all of the things that are going to happen.
Get to know people. And don't be so mean. And don't smirk. You have a scary smirk.
Sorrryyy but I have to go. I'm tired. And I was about to go to sleep. But I wanted to chat you because I always find it entertaining. So gooodnight. Have a good life.
Aloofer: yeah goodnight
Admirer: GREAT TALKING WITH YOU AS USUAL
Aloofer: yeah you too
Admirer: Good luck with your girls problems.
Aloofer: yeah
thank you
